Thursday, October 7, 2010

The Sweet Life

Uh...Yeah right.

If I told you why I couldn't sleep; if I told you why even a Trazadone didn't do the trick; if I told you why no amount of Sleepy Time Tea or Melatonin could help; if I told you why I was up until 4 am, which gave me two hours of restless sleep and led to a very challenging, very grouchy day after, you would agree with my frustration. You would sympathize. You might even invite me to escape to your home for some peace and quiet. And wine. But alas, the details aren’t important. Just keep in mind that I live in the same apartment as the family, which happens to be a single dad. Keep in mind that my room lies in between his and the girls'. Keep in mind that single parents still date and sometimes, those dates are successful. Three hours of success.

This is tough. Sometimes, it's very tough. Yes, I am enjoying a year in another country, a year learning another language, and finally finding a family that makes this experience manageable. I love living in the center of the city. I love being able to go jogging along the river. I love meeting friends at a cafe in the evenings. But, this job still has its moments. It's hard to live with someone else's family. It’s hard to live with your own family at times, so I don't know what I was thinking. It's not easy being an adult who still reports to someone on my whereabouts—“I'm going to the market. I'm going to a dance class. I'm going...N’importe où!”

I used to think that what doesn't kill me, makes me stronger. Some of my innocence died, some of my optimism has been lost and I now know what doesn't kill me, gives me great anxiety and keeps the pharmaceutical industry in business.

So, I'm summoning positive thoughts; I'm listing my gratitude’s, I’m buying a pair of ear-plugs.Gratitude:

  • Coming up with a list of gratitudes during a week like this week.
  • I'm going to Grenoble this weekend for a dinner party. Yes, that's right. That is my life.
  • Single parents that travel for work. How I can't wait to sleep tonight.
  • Dance Master Class workshop this Saturday morning. Fingers crossed.
  • The sun is out--although now that I said that, watch it rain tomorrow. Just watch!