Saturday, March 20, 2010

The Dilemma, Part 2: When It's Actually Quite a Blessing Without Disguise

I’ve taken up reading the French newspaper; mostly because I can finally make out some comprehension of what I’m reading… Well, part of it, at least. Other times, it stands in as a prop to disguise me as a local (that is, until I have to speak and the American accent is revealed). Anyway, in the French paper, there’s a small column on the back page with horoscopes, which are divided into three sections: Health, love, and work.

The Health portion read, “La Forme!”
With the reminiscent symptoms of being sick, I thought, That’s a stretch; maybe it’s more of a suggestion than a reading, to be in “top form?” Or maybe it was the writer’s last horoscope of the day to finish. It’s a toss-up.

Love: Something along the lines of show yourself if your heart is already taken, and beware of losing… something?
Yes, problem with commitment and opening up to people: check! Let’s brush right past that section.

Work: “Non! Tout le monde n’est pas toujours honnete avec vous. Il faut vous le rentrer dans la tete une fois pour toute!”
How introspective of you, Universe, because you’re right; “Everyone” regarding my work is not being honest with me and like you instructed, I need to get it in my head once and for all.

I’m not aloof to the situation at hand, but I do, however, hold a soft spot for optimism, leading me to hope that this is just a phase; There’s such a thing as a 3 ½ month phase, right?! But in reality, to say that this isn’t working, would be an understatement. However, I was a bit staggered to discover that my “Everyone” at my work had found a replacement for me.  Not just has a replacement been found, but contracts have been signed and dates have been set. I wonder when they’ll say something.

And so it seems, the French avoid confrontation.  Add it to the list. While a replacement is entirely crucial for both parties, it seems all so deceitful the way they went about it. Being the clearer of all airs, the conflict manager type, the opener of communication lines, and the do-er of good jobs that I try to be, I approached them back in February-ish, for an evaluation and to say in my broken French, “I want this to work for all of us. If there’s a problem, please talk to me about it, as I will try to do the same.” To which they replied, “Non, non, c’est bien.” It’s not so bien, obviously.

With the sincerest of truths, perhaps this whole experience has been a blessing, no disguise even necessary. Maybe a job lost (my first ever), but my freedom gained; the return of my sanity and a lesson learned; many lessons learned. It just wasn’t good chemistry. I’ve assessed the situation and I feel okay about it. I do.

  • Girls night out yesterday in Vieux Lyon
  • The weather here has been in-cred-ible. I even left my jacket at home!
  • The little boy here, just interrupted my post to ask if he could do my makeup and hair. Who wants to forecast his future to his conservative parents? Not me!


  1. That is unbelievable. You will be better off finding something else! I'm excited that you get to explore something else.

  2. Ah ha, so they have to buy you a plane ticket! I hate them, but I love this stipulation. I think it's a great idea to get out there and travel and make the most of this time. You'll be so much happier as a free bird. I'm excited for that :)

  3. Wow, girl.
    I´m so happy for you :)
    Have a terrific Sunday ;)
    Brazilian XOXO´s,

  4. the traveling idea sounds seriously amazing. especially the whole tapas in spain part.

  5. wow!!!! what a way to lose your job! lol i dont know whether to be happy or sad for you, so i will be a combo of both. its crazy how they arent telling you that you gotta go, yet at the same time its good that you might be out of a miserable situation soon!
    im a huge planner, every little detail has to be planned out or i flip out- so for me fear of the unknown would have me shakin in my booties. you are BRAVE! very proud of you!!!!!!!!!!!

  6. i am sosososo confused!?!?! good or bad? happy or sad?? i think you better get to traveling i wanna see some pictures, recaps and ethnic cuisin!!!

  7. i hate those types of situations!! it's like with my boyfriends parents (and why i moved out... to keep my sanity), no one understands what a person goes through constantly thinking and being picked at. sometimes i think "how did i get through it"... but i learned a lot and it helped me grow.

    i'm happy for you. and slightly jealous that you'll be traveling this summer ;)

    good luck to the new au pair. wonder if she knows french... hmm. haha.