The Dilemma, Part 2: When It's Actually Quite a Blessing Without Disguise

I’ve taken up reading the French newspaper; mostly because I can finally make out some comprehension of what I’m reading… Well, part of it, at least. Other times, it stands in as a prop to disguise me as a local (that is, until I have to speak and the American accent is revealed). Anyway, in the French paper, there’s a small column on the back page with horoscopes, which are divided into three sections: Health, love, and work.

The Health portion read, “La Forme!”
With the reminiscent symptoms of being sick, I thought, That’s a stretch; maybe it’s more of a suggestion than a reading, to be in “top form?” Or maybe it was the writer’s last horoscope of the day to finish. It’s a toss-up.

Love: Something along the lines of show yourself if your heart is already taken, and beware of losing… something?
Yes, problem with commitment and opening up to people: check! Let’s brush right past that section.

Work: “Non! Tout le monde n’est pas toujours honnete avec vous. Il faut vous le rentrer dans la tete une fois pour toute!”
How introspective of you, Universe, because you’re right; “Everyone” regarding my work is not being honest with me and like you instructed, I need to get it in my head once and for all.

I’m not aloof to the situation at hand, but I do, however, hold a soft spot for optimism, leading me to hope that this is just a phase; There’s such a thing as a 3 ½ month phase, right?! But in reality, to say that this isn’t working, would be an understatement. However, I was a bit staggered to discover that my “Everyone” at my work had found a replacement for me.  Not just has a replacement been found, but contracts have been signed and dates have been set. I wonder when they’ll say something.

And so it seems, the French avoid confrontation.  Add it to the list. While a replacement is entirely crucial for both parties, it seems all so deceitful the way they went about it. Being the clearer of all airs, the conflict manager type, the opener of communication lines, and the do-er of good jobs that I try to be, I approached them back in February-ish, for an evaluation and to say in my broken French, “I want this to work for all of us. If there’s a problem, please talk to me about it, as I will try to do the same.” To which they replied, “Non, non, c’est bien.” It’s not so bien, obviously.

With the sincerest of truths, perhaps this whole experience has been a blessing, no disguise even necessary. Maybe a job lost (my first ever), but my freedom gained; the return of my sanity and a lesson learned; many lessons learned. It just wasn’t good chemistry. I’ve assessed the situation and I feel okay about it. I do.


Gratitude:

• Girls night out yesterday in Vieux Lyon
• The weather here has been in-cred-ible. I even left my jacket at home!
• The little boy here, just interrupted my post to ask if he could do my makeup and hair. Who wants to forecast his future to his conservative parents? Not me!