My "Dear John" to Tom

Dear Tom,

I’m sorry that I had to do this through a letter but the time has come. This isn’t working—you and I. And I’m tired of pretending that we can continue this relationship. It’s not you, it’s me… well, actually no, I’m sure it’s probably you.

I remember when we met that day in April. The sun was shining, the birds were chirping, and there you were. You provided a je-ne-sais-quoi that I hadn’t had since my life in California. You were assertive. You knew what you wanted. You had direction… And it all came wrapped up with the most endearing British accent. You must’ve known I had a weak spot for accents.

We had some good times—exploring the streets of France together, going out with my friends. You even helped me with errands and the kids. Heh, remember our trips out to the country? You always remembered my favorites. Good times.

But then things changed. I’d say I’m fairly adept at identifying the exact moment when a relationship expires; when it takes a turn for the worse. Perhaps I was expecting it. Perhaps I was being pessimistic, but nonetheless, it came. All of those qualities you possessed that were seemingly charming in the beginning became well, not so charming. Your word became fallible. You lost your direction. You started making things difficult. You became bossy; demanding, even. I’m sure I hold some fault in it. There were certainly times when I made mistakes; when I didn’t trust; when I didn’t give you my full attention. But regardless, that didn’t give reason to demean me, to tell me to “turn around” when I screwed up…Especially those times my friends were with us.

We just aren’t right for each other. While I sometimes find myself a bit anxious without you, I gain a greater sense of achievement knowing that I’m no longer dependent. I’m not that helpless girl that I was the first time we got in the car together. I think that’s the type of person you need. Okay, yes, maybe I did almost come crawling back yesterday when I was lost. It would’ve been easier to have you there, but guess what?! I figured things out myself and after 5 months in France, I know my way pretty well. I don’t think you gave me enough credit. So with that, I wish you the best.

Goodbye, TomTom.

Love,
Lauren

Gratitude:

• Catching up with my mom today on the phone. If I forgot to add "Excellent Giver of Advice" to the last post about her then I'm adding it now.
• Oh, I'm sorry but who was it again who made some amazing roasted vegetables with garlic and thyme? Oh yes, it was me, thankyouverymuch.
• I've conquered jogging up the "Rollercoaster Hill" as the kids call it. It's steep.
• I finished packing...
• Because in 12 hours, I'll be in the car on my way to Cannes for the film festival!!!